December 04, 2003

Another Eye for the Straight Guy

They're filming Queer Eye for the Straight Guy around the corner...

...After I pick up Jonah from school, I'm going to check out the Fab Five. I have to talk to them about the good work they're doing, but they really have to stop putting straight guys in white denim.

-- Laura, Eyeing Queer Eye

Laura's right, of course. Guys, if you want to get dates with women, please do not wear white denim. And go easy on the hair care products.

Posted by Invisible Adjunct at December 4, 2003 10:08 AM

I am hard pressed to think of anyone who looks good in white denim.

Posted by: Ghost of a flea at December 4, 2003 10:30 AM

I've never even seen white denim. Could someone explain why it's so disastrous?

Posted by: Miriam at December 4, 2003 11:27 AM

Dear Miriam, white is a color to be worn lightly, flowingly, perhaps in a nice linen, or silk. White denim, however, makes the wearer looked as if he's wrapped in gauze: nice for fetishistic potential, but a turn-off to most regular gals.

Posted by: ogged at December 4, 2003 11:39 AM

Ogged, you've obviously got an eye. Please help me redecorate my living room.

Posted by: Invisible Adjunct at December 4, 2003 12:15 PM

With the apparently unlimited budget of the Fab Five, we could do wonders.

Posted by: ogged at December 4, 2003 12:28 PM

I didn't even know denim came in white. But I got married in a nice pair of white linen pants with a white shirt and an off-white linen jacket (and, of course, a Panama for outdoor wear, though I didn't have it on during the ceremony). My bride told me I looked smashing. I suspect she may have been prejudiced, though.

Posted by: language hat at December 4, 2003 12:35 PM

I'll forgive the white denim if they can get straight men to stop wearing white sweat socks with sandals.

Posted by: Matilde at December 4, 2003 12:37 PM

I've often thought Kyan the weakest link in the chain. The interior decorating is to die for, however.

Posted by: baa at December 4, 2003 01:32 PM

baa, did you see Kyan guide the insecure lawyer (Richard M.) through the trauma of removing his hairpiece? It was genuinely touching and I'm not sure any of the others could have managed it.

Posted by: ogged at December 4, 2003 02:01 PM

Not wear white denim? Riiiiiggggghhhhht.

Next thing you're gonna tell me is, chicks don't dig men who wear their shirts unbuttoned to the navel, the better to show off their collection of gold chains. Or that they can tell it's a combover - crazy stuff like that.

Now, I do understand that white denim should only be worn in season, from Memorial Day to Labor Day (out of season, it's skintight fake leather, of course).

Posted by: Barry at December 4, 2003 02:08 PM

Count me in as one who wore white linen trousers at his wedding (but no headgear other than my yarmulke) and who was heretofore unaware that denim came in white.

Posted by: Jeremy Osner at December 4, 2003 02:15 PM

"...and who was heretofore unaware that denim came in white."

Which is one reason why you had a wedding to which you could white linen...

Posted by: Invisible Adjunct at December 4, 2003 02:43 PM

I love Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but it doesn't quite replace Trading Spaces. There's room in my heart- and channel changer- for both!

Posted by: Cat at December 4, 2003 03:11 PM

Ogged, you forget that one of the prime uses of white denim is for dancing-- it's white, so it glows in blacklight, and it's tight, so everyone can see how nice your ass looks. It's not disastrous, it just has, you know, a context.

Posted by: Fontana Labs at December 4, 2003 05:33 PM

Much as I'd like to be known as a guy with an eye, I confess: I didn't forget. I had no idea.

Posted by: ogged at December 4, 2003 07:00 PM

I do believe we need to make a few distinctions here. There's white and then there's WHITE, by which I mean there are a vast array of semi-permissable off-whites, varieties such as "stone white" for instance, and then there is bright, unalloyed WHITE.

Interestingly, I've seen very few men where this kind of white -- but I'll be on the look out -- though I have seen many women wearing it in tight denim. They're usually on their way to clubs with names like "Egypt" and "Club Babylon," and with their skin-tight white jeans they often compliment them with cobalt blue satin shirts and black strap high heels.

Ladies, may I just say, you might want to re-think that as it is most certainly NOT a turn on.

Posted by: Chris at December 4, 2003 07:55 PM

Painters may wear as much white denim as they want. They have to do something to be noticeable in the Apollonian glory of roofing season...

Posted by: clew at December 4, 2003 08:41 PM

My students last year had a class in-joke about white denim -- it started with a reference to bad '80s fashion (including white jeans) in one of their papers, and then it kept coming up. The originator of the joke put "a.k.a. the boy with the white jeans" next to his name on his final paper. They all seemed to agree that white denim was a big fashion faux pas.

Posted by: Amanda at December 5, 2003 11:37 AM

unfortunately, i am starting to see more guys wearing white jeans.

Posted by: Daryn at December 10, 2003 01:10 PM